I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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