Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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