I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
