TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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