i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
