Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
