How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
