Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
