i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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