I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
pray to the hookup gods
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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