I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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