I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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