Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
