Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
