guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Terrible idea I love it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
