THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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