you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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