That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
