She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he thought i was a dude.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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