I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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