He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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