Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
