So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
