it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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