Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
