it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
