Screwed.edu
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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