He uses pillows to masturbate.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
