I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
