Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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