Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
