Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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