Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What part of āthe stripper has a gun, we need to leaveā is confusing you? Sheās drunk, sheās fucking crazy and NOW SHEāS PACKING HEAT!
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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