I just cut my nipple shaving
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
