I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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