ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
