My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
