I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
