Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
