sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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