She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
