so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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