Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
