# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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