After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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