Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
