Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
