hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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