Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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