i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i think i just lost a toe
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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