I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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